We tend to get angry and upset when a foreigner says something uncomplimentary about us. Here are some extracts from an article written about the driving conditions in India for the benefit of the the Netherlands-based staff of a Dutch software company sent to work in their new office in Hyderabad. If we are honest to ourselves, we will agree that much of this could truthfully have been written by an average motorist in Tamil Nadu.
Indian Road rules broadly operate within the domain of karma where you do your best, and leave the results to your insurance company. Do we drive on the left or right of the road? The answer is "both". Basically you start on the left of the road, unless it is occupied. In that case, go to the right, unless that is also occupied. Then proceed by occupying the next available gap, as in chess. Just trust your instincts, ascertain the direction, and proceed. Adherence to road rules leads to much misery and occasional fatality. Most drivers don't drive, but just aim their vehicles in the intended direction. Don't you get discouraged or underestimate yourself. Except for a belief in reincarnation, the other drivers are not in any better position.
Don't stop at pedestrian crossings
just because some fool wants to cross the road. You may do so only
if you enjoy being bumped in the back. Pedestrians have been strictly
instructed to cross only when traffic is moving slowly or has come
to a dead stop. Still, some idiot may try to wade across, but then,
let us not talk ill of the dead.
Blowing your horn is not a sign of
protest as in some countries. We horn to express joy, resentment,frustration,
romance and bare lust (two brisk blasts), or just mobilize a dozing
cow in the middle of the bazaar.
Keep informative books in the glove
compartment. You may read them during traffic jams, while awaiting
the chief minister's motorcade, or waiting for the rain waters to
recede when overground traffic meets underground drainage. Night
driving can be an exhilarating experience(for those with the mental
makeup of Genghis Khan). In a way, it is like playing Russian roulette,
because you do not know who amongst the drivers is "loaded".
What looks like premature dawn on
the horizon turns out to be a truck attempting a land speed record.
On encounteringit, justpull partly into the field adjoiningthe road
until the phenomenon passes. Our roads do not have shoulders, but
occasional boulders. Do not blink your lights expecting reciprocation.
The only dimthing in the truck may be the driver, and the peg of
illicit arrack he has had at the last stop may have brought his
total cerebral functions to little more than a naught.
Truck drivers are the James Bonds
of India and are licensed to kill. Often you may encounter a single
powerful beam of light about six feet above the ground. This is
not a super motorbike, but a truck aproaching you with a single
light on; usually the left one. It could be the right one, but never
get too close to investigate. You may prove your point posthumously.
Occasionally you might see what looks like a UFO with blinking coloured
lights and weird sounds emanating from within. This is an illuminated
bus, full of happy pilgrims singing bhajans. These pilgrims go at
breakneck speed, seeking contact with the Almighty and often meeting
with success.
Of course, all this occurs at night
on trunk roads. During the daytime, trucks are more visible, except
that the drivers will never Signal. Only, you will often observe
that the cleaner sitting next to the driver will project his hand
and wave hysterically. This is definitely not to be construed as
a signal for a left turn. The waving is just an _expression of physical
relief on a hot day or a general warning to other road users..
One-way Street: These boards are put
up by traffic people to add jest in their otherwise drab lives.
Don't stick to the literal meaning and proceed in one direction.
In metaphysical terms, it means that you cannot proceed in two directions
at once. So drive as you like, in reverse throughout, if you are
the fussy type.
Lest I sound hypercritical, I must add a positive point also. Rash and fast driving in residential areas has been prevented by providing a "speed Breaker"; two for each house. This mound, incidentally, covers the water and drainage pipes for that residence and is left untarred for easy identification by the corporation
authorities, should they want to recover the pipe for year-end accounting.
If, after all this, you still want to drive in India, have your lessons between 8 pm and 6 am - when the police have gone home. The citizen is then free to enjoy the 'FREEDOM OF SPEED' not yet enshrined in our constitution.
By: Not Available
Date: Not Available
Source: http://www.stanford.edu/~yamanoor/h/desjk/desidrive.htm
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